A Trip to the Dentist
by XClayMacionPoint
Summary: Just like any other human-bodied shinobi, Deidara must have his teeth examined once every six months. Now, Deidara could tolerate all kinds of pain. He could handle being kicked, punched, sliced, and even having his arms torn off. There was one pain though, that he could not stand. Let's hope he brushed his teeth diligently, all of his teeth. ;)


This idea was given to me by my friend chansik on Archive! I just fleshed it out a little bit. Hope you enjoy!

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Deidara had tucked his hands beneath his arms, his foot tapped against the dirt causing tiny puffs of dust to bloom around it. His blonde hair covered both of his eyes as he tilted to the right, letting out a series of grunts as though he were in deep thought. Beside him on the bench sat Sasori with one leg crossed over the other and a scroll in his hands. He turned to the puppet master. His fists tightened beneath his arms when he heard the sound of the drill coming from somewhere within the tent behind him. A look of nervousness passed over his face for a split second, but he shook it away.

"Danna, let's just go. My teeth are fine, un."

Sasori didn't bother to glance up from the writings on the scroll before him.

"It's been six months since your last check up."

Deidara frowned at the dirt, the nervousness returning. His tongue ran over the teeth in his mouth. He brought his heels together, staring at the marks left in the dirt from his sandals. The sound of the drill starting up again made him scrunch up his shoulders.

"We can do it another time. We have that mission to complete, un."

"It's better to just get it over with." The red head responded.

Soft shuffling sounds caused them both to turn their heads to the flaps of the entrance to the tent. A man emerged with his hand to his cheek and a pained expression. At the sight Deidara's heart started to slam against his ribcage.

"Really, Danna, let's-"

"Next patient please." The voice came from a woman standing partway within the tent, holding the flap up.

Sasori rolled up his scroll and rose, paying no mind to the blonde's pleas. Deidara reluctantly stood and followed him into the tent.

X

The sight of the tools exacerbated his building worry. Sasori watched him carefully, preparing to snatch him if he tried to make a run for it.

"You are the next patient, correct? Please lay down."

Deidara kept his hands hidden within his cloak as he laid himself out along the bench.

"Please move your hair."

He rose up, pulling out the band that held his half ponytail and using it to collect the waves of golden strands into a low ponytail. He placed them behind his body and laid back down. His hands returned themselves to within his cloak.

Sasori stood a few feet away, leaning against a small desk, watching his partner go from irritated, to concerned, to terrified as he laid down.

"Alright, open."

He shut his eyes and slowly opened his mouth. The medic ninja pulled at the nervous man's bottom lip and scanned over his teeth with his visual jutsu. He let out a pensive hum. Deidara's eyebrows scrunched when he heard it but he would not move.

"You're all clear." The medic nin said as he released his grasp of Deidara's chin.

The blonde rose with a smile.

"See, nothing to worry about, un!" he said, ready to dart out as fast as possible.

"Ah. Not yet." Sasori began from his position a few feet away.

Deidara's eyes widened in horror.

"Please, take a look at his hands." The red head could not conceal a smirk that was developing on his wooden lips.

The medic nin reactivated his visual prowess and scanned over Deidara's body to find that there were, indeed, mouths on his hands.

"Please lay back down sir."

Deidara shot the puppet master a death glare and threw himself onto his back. He slowly removed his hand from his cloak, looking away as the medic nin leaned close to examine the teeth thoroughly.

"This one is fine."

He let out a weak sigh of relief.

"Your other."

He held out his left hand. After a few moments of silence Deidara had convinced himself that he was in the clear. The medic nin began to speak.

"It seems."

 _Oh no._

"You have one cavity."

 _Danna, I swear, once this is over I'm going to turn you into a spectacular piece of art. Prepare yourself, un!_


End file.
